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The offbeat bride: Samantha, Fashion Designer

Her offbeat partner: Ryan, student/cook/construction worker

Location & date of wedding: Central Park's Alice in Wonderland Statue, New York, NY — October 31, 2009

What made our wedding offbeat: We had a planned elopement to NYC so we could get married in front of the Alice in Wonderland statue on Halloween. My biggest inspiration as a designer and artist is Alice and we figured it would be the perfect place to start our new adventures together.

Love the kids playing in the background.

Love the kids playing in the background.

We had a friend fly out from California to marry us (he registered so he could be the one to do it). It ended up being kind of a guerrilla wedding. We descended on the statue, waited for people to disperse a bit and went right into it. Strangers watched and clapped. Our ceremony included a recitation of "All in a Golden Afternoon" from Alice's Adventure in Wonderland. There were even two girls at the park near us dressed as the Mad Hatter and the White Rabbit. They posed with us for our wedding picture :)

After our wedding we went to Little Italy to celebrate and in lieu of cake had sweets at Ferrera's, followed by the World/Inferno Friendship Society's annual Hallowmas show. It was very adventurous and very us.

Our biggest challenge: We stayed in Queens so transportation back and forth each day of our wedding/honeymoon was sky high! We saved a bit of money by having the cabs drop us at the closest subway station to us each day and bought two seven-day unlimited subway passes.

My favorite moment: When we exchanged our free-style vows. Looking into his eyes and seeing him cry. Hearing my favorite Alice poem. Having our officiant say, "Now kiss already, Mother-f**kers!"

My offbeat advice: Do what makes you the most happy. While you want everyone you love to be there, if it's not possible, don't feel bad. This is about you and your spouse.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn:
To see the slide show, head to offbeatbride.com.

 
 
30 December 2009 @ 01:29 am

Stay tuned, ladies. We'll have much more about this Toronto wedding next week, featuring photos by Brian Tao of Luxography:

It features a gold tutu, "ditch flowers," and a personalized board game. In the meantime, here's one more shot to tide you over…

 
 
This business has paid a fee to be listed on offbeatbride.com because they feel their wedding products and services are in-line with offbeat brides' philosophies and needs … and I agree. Here's more info about how advertising works on offbeatbride.com.

whitney lee

We've introduced you to Austin wedding photographer Whitney Lee and friends several times, and now we'd like to introduce you to their new lead-shooter-in-training Lindsey Baker. Whitney tells us that she's "kind of a deal" because she's not even up on the website yet.

Lindsey recently captured Kati and Hilal's eco-conscious wedding in San Antonio, Texas, that included a raw vegan dinner for their 300 guests and she did a freaking fantastic job of it. Kati, who rocked her amazing dreads in a super neat-o up-do, had her custom dress made to reflect the Victorian femininity and the "Wild West" of the 1800's but modernized. And it is one amazing creation. And whoamygod her shoes are pretty damn incredible as well.

Check out the rest of Lindsey's photos (including one of the most muy romantical first dance photos EVAR) by heading over to the Whitney Lee Photography blog. And then make sure to book Whitney Lee Photography for your Texas wedding and become your own drool-alicious wedding porn!

 
 

The offbeat bride: Danae, lingerie expert and OBT member

Her offbeat partner: Dougie, Business Analyst

Location & date of wedding: Edinburgh, Scotland — 1st August 2009

What made our wedding offbeat: We had an outdoor wedding in Scotland, complete with Lego, a hot pink wedding dress, 50's style dresses and an explosion of colour.

To put it briefly, we really didn't want a "classy" wedding, we wanted a fun wedding. I'm not a classy woman, so why try to turn myself into one for just one day? Both of us are well-known for being big kids, so we went with that and set out to have a fun, happy wedding that incorporated the things we love.

Dougie loves Lego, so we used it for everything from the buttonholes to the guest book to the cufflinks. He's also got a big sweet tooth, so we bought lots of cheap vintage dishes at a furniture salvage yard and filled them with retro candies for each table. We also had about eight different kinds of cake, all homemade by our guests and friends. My mother-in-law made our beautiful wedding cake and added our Lego bride and groom.

I love the 50's, so I hired a dressmaker to make me the ultimate 50's party dress. We knew white wasn't going to work for this kind of wedding, and picked out crazier and crazier colours until we decided on hot pink. My bridesmaids wore white instead, and I carried an incredible bouquet from my florist friend that had every flower that we both loved in it — why limit yourself to just a few?

Our biggest challenge: Our biggest challenge was pulling off the kind of wedding we wanted for the amount of money we wanted to spend.

We wanted to just have a big garden party, at a house that we got free run of for the weekend, without any caterers, organisers or anything else that we were required to hire. Finding that in a country as popular as Scotland for wedding destinations was no mean feat. We finally stumbled upon Carriden House outside of Edinburgh, and they were amazing — once I convinced the owner that I really did know what I was doing, they just let us take care of everything.

Of course, that is a challenge all by itself. We quickly realised that we needed some help on the day to make sure food was set out and things were cleared away, so we hired a few teenagers we knew to serve as our helpers for the day. They did everything from making our photo guestbook to cueing the music to washing the dishes, and were an amazing help. It was a huge challenge to organise everything beforehand, however — I wrote pages of timelines and instructions to leave with the helpers, as I wouldn't be able to organise things on the day. I ended up briefing our Best Men and Bridesmaids to serve as the organisers on the day, and they handled any questions the helpers had. It all ran smoothly on the day!

Danae and Dougie in Lego

My favorite moment: It's really difficult to choose a favourite moment, because the whole day just merged into one wonderful gasp of happiness!

I think my favourite moment was directly after the ceremony, when all of our friends and family rushed around us in this wonderful outpouring of happiness. I was already so giddy that Dougie nicknamed me "The Exploding Bride," and to have everyone I loved there around us and so happy for us was really just too wonderful for words.

I also loved the music at our wedding, as it created such a happy, relaxed atmosphere. I walked down the aisle to "Be My Baby," and after the ceremony, i'd picked out tons of retro tunes like "Under the Boardwalk" to play while guests were mingling. During dinner we moved to classic piano tunes like "As Times go By" and Nat King Cole, and our first dance was to "A Bicycle Built for Two." In the evening, our friends took over DJ'ing and we danced into the wee hours to everything from 80's cheese to Sweet Home Alabama!

My offbeat advice: Only spend money on the things you care about, and just disregard the rest, no matter how "important" it seems. We did online invitations, because we really just didn't see the need for paper ones. On the other hand, we spent a great deal of money on accommodating our wedding party and parents at the venue, because it was important to us that they all spent some time getting to know each other.

If you love photos, hire a photographer — they don't have to cost the earth or be super-famous and could even just be a friend, but make sure you line someone up that you're confident about. If it is a friend, insist on paying them, so you feel comfortable bossing them around. Our decision to hire a photographer was last-minute and financially scary, but it the best decision we made — we will treasure Lillian & Leonard's photos for the rest of our lives.

My biggest piece of advice is: pay for the wedding yourself. Whether it means your wedding budget will be $100 or $10,000, you will be *so* much happier if you keep control the finances, and thus, the decisions. We did this, and it was a big relief when family members disagreed about something to be able to confidently say, "don't worry, you'll love it," and close the discussion. And guess what? They totally did love it!

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn:

To see the slide show, head to offbeatbride.com.

 
 

Unless you are one of those lucky ladies who never, ever has trouble finding items that fit you perfectly straight off the rack, there’s a good chance your bridal attire will require alterations. If you are having something custom-made, you will probably need to have at least two fittings. (In my experience, three fittings for a mass-produced wedding dress is common.)

If at all possible, start with a dress (or outfit) that is your size — or very, very close to it. While it is often possible to size a dress up or down, don’t count on being able to take in or let out a dress by more than one or two sizes. Many dresses do not contain enough seam allowance to let out that much -– and with fabrics like velvet and satin, the original seam lines will show. (With satin, original seam lines can resemble track marks, hardly an appropriate look for a special occasion.)

If you have not yet purchased your attire, PLEASE resist the urge to buy something that is on sale but several sizes too big. Garments that are much too large for the intended wearer often need to basically be taken apart and re-cut in order to hang properly on the body. This is such a labor-intensive process it can quickly eat whatever money you saved –- and then some.

Buy the size that best fits the largest part of your body.

If you are not the same size all over, keep in mind that it is usually easier to take in a garment than it is to let it out. I myself am top-heavy, so I speak from experience on this. It’s almost always easiest (and least costly) to buy the size that best fits the largest part of your body and take in the dress wherever it is too big.

Buyer beware: some bridal shops deliberately order the wrong size. If you are ordering a dress through a bridal shop, check them out thoroughly, and make sure they have your correct measurements. Try to order well in advance so that if they order the wrong size anyway, you have time to either come up with another dress or politely, but firmly, insist that they order the correct size pronto.

If buying online (i.e. buying a vintage dress on eBay), ask for specific measurements. If they are not part of the listing (not all labels are sized the same way), and make sure you know how they compare to yours.

Princess Lasertron in her Dress Design Forms Studio creation.

When choosing a tailor, go with a reputable one, not the one that quotes you the lowest rate. You get what you pay for. Believe me, it isn’t worth having something done cheaply if you subsequently have to pay someone else to fix the cheap-o job.

Many alteration shops will not give estimates for wedding dresses or other formal gowns over the phone. The shop needs to see the actual dress and see how it currently fits your body to determine EXACTLY what needs to be done and give an accurate estimate. Describing the dress over the phone is really not very helpful, especially since some less-scrupulous brides lie about how much work needs to be done on the dress in order to get a lower quote.

Ask whether an appointment is required. Many independent alterations shops require appointments for bridal fittings to avoid getting fifteen brides in one afternoon. It takes time to fit a bridal gown properly, and you do NOT want the person fitting you to be rushed, fumbling, and sweating profusely while a dozen less-polite brides badger and harass her for not fitting you faster.

Do not demand an appointment on a day when appointments are not available.

Big tip: Ask the shop to suggest a good day and time to come in. They’ll suggest a time when they are least busy, thus ensuring they can concentrate fully on your dress.

My former employer had a very rigid no-bridal-fittings-on-Saturdays rule because on each and every Saturday we were so swamped that we frequently didn’t get lunch breaks until 4pm.

When the fitter is in a rush, it shows in her work. Yes, dashing off to a fitting during your lunch hour or after work may not be the most convenient thing in the world, but you DO want that dress to fit you properly, don’t you? Suck it up and book that Wednesday evening appointment.

Don’t schedule a fitting right after a workout. Having a wedding dress cleaned isn't cheap, so you don’t want to have sweat stains removed BEFORE you actually wear it. Also, fitting someone requires being in close physical proximity. No one likes fitting a client who smells like a locker room, so hit the showers first. (As long as I’m on the subject of odor, please go easy on the cigarettes, perfume, and smelly food.)

Buy your foundation garments before your first fitting, and bring them to ALL of your fittings. Yes, this is completely and absolutely necessary. Even if they don’t appear to shape your body much or at all, your foundation garments WILL affect the way the dress hangs on your figure. Every so often, we’d have a bride go through one or two fittings with a certain bra or corset, then bring a different one and wonder why the dress looked so different. Depending upon the design and cut of the dress, wearing the wrong bra can even affect whether the hem hangs evenly –- I’ve seen it happen. (It goes without saying that if you have a petticoat or crinoline, you should bring that, too.)

Ditto for your shoes. If you have not obtained the perfect shoes before your first fitting, mention this to the fitter and then bring a pair of shoes with a heel height in the range of your ideal shoe (heel height can affect your posture), and ask to have the hem marked at a later fitting. Don’t even THINK of standing on tiptoe and insisting your hem be marked that way -– standing on tiptoe for the 5+ minutes required to carefully pin a hem will make you wobble and the hem will not be even.

If you are a klutz and will be wearing a long dress, consider having it hemmed to hang 1″ from the floor rather than touching the ground. Heavy dress + high heels + possible anxiety = heightened possibility of tripping over one’s hem. (I am hopelessly clumsy, and will be designing a ballerina-length dress to a. deter tripping and b. show off my shoes, which will be fabulous.)

Your wedding attire should not be someone else’s learning experience.

If you know of any upcoming changes to your physical dimensions (i.e. newly pregnant, having breast reduction surgery, etc.), tell whomever is making or altering your dress ASAP. Once the fabric is cut, the dress generally can’t be made drastically bigger without adding panels or gussets. Similarly, if your E cups are about to become C cups, it’s best to wait and have the top fitted after surgery.

If the tailor balks at your request for drastic changes to an existing dress, look for someone else who can handle the job. Even some of the best tailors are not well-versed in radically altering clothes (i.e. turning Aunt Susie’s long-sleeved 1950s number into a halter dress). Your wedding attire should not be someone else’s learning experience, particularly if the garment has sentimental value.

The stitching beginsIf the tailor recommends against making a particular change, there’s probably a good reason why. I personally feel it is fine to ask why s/he is recommending against something, or to get a second opinion from another tailor, but please keep in mind these people are professionals -– they are intimately familiar with garment construction, and may know of a better way to make something look the way you want it to look.

During the actual fitting, please don’t move unless the person fitting you indicates it is all right to do so. Moving during a fitting can cause the garment to be fitted unevenly (this is especially true of hems and sleeves) or cause you to be accidentally poked with a pin. (I used to come home with bumps and bruises because some of the less-attentive clients would move during a fitting and bonk me in the face, chest, shoulders, etc.) Not sure when it’s okay to move? Just ask. Believe me, it’s appreciated.

Do move around to test the fit once you are given the all-clear. Will you be doing a lot of dancing, walking, sitting, etc.? Make sure you can comfortably do all of those things once the dress is pinned. If the dress will inhibit your movement, point it out so the fit can be adjusted accordingly.

Your final dress fitting should be held approximately two weeks prior to the wedding, if possible. Any closer to the big day and there might not be enough time to fix any problems — any further from the big day and there’s a chance the dress might not fit. Many brides lose weight from stress, or get swamped with last-minute things and simply forget to eat. (98% of all the brides we worked with lost several pounds during the 4-6 weeks before the wedding, regardless of whether they were trying to do so. No matter how proud you are of your figure, it could happen to you too.)

If your mom/maid of honor/best friend couldn’t come dress shopping with you, it’s okay to ask the fitter to show her/him how to zip/button/lace up your dress. Assuming you can’t get it on without help, that is. Zippers are a no-brainer, but corset-back lacing in particular can be intimidating to those who have never had to handle it.

Good luck!

 
 

Remember the bellydancing bride we fell in love with a little while back? Well, she was kind enough to give us the whole scoop on her amazing wedding festivities.

The Offbeat Bride: Christina, Jewelry Designer

Her Offbeat Partner: Jason, 3D designer

Location & date of wedding: The Maryland Renaissance Festival, Crownsville MD — October 17, 2009

What made our wedding offbeat: I always knew that I didn’t want the traditional white dress and church wedding. I’m Pagan, and Jason isn’t particularly religious. Plus, I look dreadful in white! The Maryland Renaissance Festival has been a part of both of our lives for a long time — I’ve been going every year since I was a little girl! We look forward to it and always have so much fun there, so it seemed natural choice for venue. Problem solved!

BackbendI’m a bellydancer, so I opted to wear my costuming in lieu of a wedding dress — bright and festive reds and yellows that made me feel beautiful. My husband wore a handsome red kilt. Our wedding party followed suit, and our guests were encouraged to come in costume. Since we’d already had our legal civil ceremony, we wrote our own ceremony and vows and hired Cardinal Sinnius Vice to officiate in style. I have two fathers, so I involved them both — one did a reading, and the other a toast, and I walked myself down the aisle to the tune of live bagpipes!

For the reception, we took the money we would have put into things like fancy china and hired a professional bellydance troupe instead. My dance partner and I performed as well. We had a cupcake tower, many lovely toasts, and wonderful Mediterranean buffet catered by a local restaurant. We limited the bar to Jason’s favorite beer and my favorite spicy wine. Everyone loved the personal touches!

Our biggest challenge: Our biggest challenge was definitely the weather! Ordinarily, weddings at MDRF take place in front of a pretty chapel, under no cover. I checked the weather periodically throughout the week — 65 and sunny. Pretty typical for Maryland Autumns. Unfortunately, a few days before the ceremony, things took a turn for the worse. A Nor’Easter was coming through, and the forecast was now 43 degrees and pouring rain!

On the morning of the wedding, we made an executive decision to take over the Dragon Inn, a pub on site that had covering. We relied on our friends to help us manage the ensuing pandemonium — one tracked down our officiant and hustled him to the right spot, another spoke to one of the groups who usually use the Inn at that time.

In the end, everybody was huddled together and cold and wet, but things went off smoothly! After a friend graciously procured me some hot cider, I hustled home to wash my skirts, which were six inches deep in mud. As it turns out, the pounding rain made our vows hard to hear in the back, so we re-read them at the reception, with one guest even stepping in to re-create the famous “MAWWAGE” scene from The Princess Bride!

Rose Petal Shower

My favorite moment: The funniest moment was definitely that Jason really went for it with the kiss and came up with a faceful of bright red lipstick!

But I think that overall, my favorite moment was most definitely my husband’s vows. He’d been procrastinating a bit, and I could tell he was worried that they wouldn’t be up to snuff. He kept making little comments like “I wish I’d had more time,” and changing words around. You never would have known when he delivered them! They were SO personal and touching, mentioning how he dances for me in the grocery store to make me smile and the time I serenaded him with a MeatLoaf power ballad after eleven hours of driving just to keep him awake. When he got to the end, where he talked about us growing old together, counting gray hairs and laugh lines, he teared up, and I just about lost it. Our officiant said they were the best vows he’d heard in a very long time.

Then again, our nuptials were also personally blessed by King Henry VIII himself. How many people can say that?

My advice for other offbeat brides: Create a day that is personally tailored toward what makes you and your partner really happy. When my husband and I sat down and thought about it, we realized two things — we didn’t have an extravagant budget, and we wanted our shindig to be memorable. We found a common love, the Renaissance Festival, and started there. I think that if you make sharing things you both love with your guests priority number one, everything else will fall into place.

Personal touches are so important! Remember, no one will ever remember that you had plastic forks, but they’ll always remember the show you put on, or the song you sang, or your unique first dance. In the end, I had so many people tell me that they loved our wedding because we made them feel so comfortable — they loved that it was more of a group celebration than a formal affair.

Secondly, utilize your friends and family. The great thing about being a bride is that if you delegate, people really pull together to get things done. I was actually quite sick on my big day, but I found that I’d say something like, “I need to go set the tablecloths/decorate the head table/etc.” and before I even finished the sentence, it was done. Your friends and family love you and want your big day to be spectacular. Delegate, delegate, delegate, and things will go off without a hitch.

Care to share vendors/shopping links:

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn:

To see the slide show, head to offbeatbride.com.

 
 
This business has paid a fee to be listed on offbeatbride.com because they feel their wedding products and services are in-line with offbeat brides' philosophies and needs … and I agree. Here's more info about how advertising works on offbeatbride.com.

Jodie&Aaron_0453

Thinking about getting married in New York? Elope NYC offers civil or spiritual ceremonies with all the fun and romance of a big city wedding without all the stress and copious amounts of dough. (Seriously, Elope NYC's wedding packages start at $350. OMGWTFBBQ! Seems like you can't even cross the street in NYC for less than $20, so a whole wedding for $350 is a deal.)

And if the name sounds familiar, it's because Ariel told you about Elope NYC before, but now they're back with an even better offer for Offbeat Brides!

Offbeat Discount:
$100 discount off of any package for weddings booked in January 2010.

Registered New York wedding officiant Judie Guild, helps couples celebrate anywhere they wish — parks, hotels, roofdecks, Unitarian churches, lofts, random NYC tourist sites… pretty much anywhere your crazy offbeat brain can think up.

Judie and Elope NYC are even offering a budget "Justice of the Peace"-style ceremony at Judie's office or another site in the metro region. If you need a witness and/or photographer, be sure to ask about the "Offbeat Bride" special.

So if you want to get married in NYC in 2010 and don't want to mortgage the farm to do it, get in touch with Elope NYC. Be sure to mention OBB for the $100 discount!

 
 

Sortie

The offbeat bride:
Marie-Eve, associate producer at Beenox (video game studio)

Her offbeat partner:
Alexandre, programmer at Beenox (yes we met at work!)

Location & date of wedding:
The Ice Chapel in the Ice Hotel in Quebec, Canada — February 7th 2009

What made our wedding offbeat:
Our marriage was under the theme of "ice and snow." It took place in the ice chapel of the Ice Hotel in Quebec Canada. The structure is made of snow, and two walls and the benches made of ice, with animal skin to make them comfortable.

We believe winter to be part of our northern culture and decided to embrace it totally!


We decided to embrace the cold, the invitations made on icy translucent paper, the tables dressing were blue tablecloth with "icy texture," the clothes in white and blue with ice patterns, the topsy-turvy air-brush painted cake with snowflakes edible decoration, the flowers with snow decorated pine cones, the table center made of melted glass (which looked like ice), even my victorian corset was blue stripped.

Our geek nature forced us to put a Final Fantasy song at the opening! We had a non-religious marriage but still with a complete ceremony and held a cocktail in the ice bar with a drink in an ice glass afterward. The meal and party took place in a nearby big log cabin. Our gift to the guests was a music album, composed and recorded by us (me at the piano and Alex at the trumpet.)

Mostly everyone involved in the wedding were close friends: the graphist, the dj, the vj, the magician, the cameraman, the photographers, the decorators, the hairdresser, the makeup artist etc.

Lecture

Our biggest challenge: Preparing for the cold. Temperature here can be unpredictable, and drop to -40 Celsius in winter (we got lucky with a -5) so we had to prepare clothing in consequence — warm boots, warm coats, warm socks, warm underwear — usually warm clothes aren't sexy nor pretty so this was quite a challenge!

We each had two pairs of boots/shoes and socks and switched when going back indoor for the meal. Alex also had a muskrat hat. We also bought boxes of hot pads, small bags that become very hot for a few hours when the contents are shaken, put them in our shoes and gloves and offered the rest to the guests.

Flowers had to be specially prepared, hand dipped in wax so that they didn't freeze on the spot. The bouquet was also attached to a custom fur "manchon" so that I could carry it without freezing my hands.

Also, since there are often storms, winter makes it difficult to travel, we rented a multi-room cabin nearby so that people could arrive the day before, and leave the day after, just in case.

L'alcove

My favorite moment: A big surprise awaited me when I reach the place. My friend from Belgium was there! Many friends knew about this, but they kept it secret from me. She crossed half the earth to be there, that was amazing!

My offbeat advice: We were really scared that, doing the wedding at a non-convenient time of the year, and because of the non-religious aspect of it, many people would be scared away, but results were completely reverse. The wedding was really hipped, and many many people came! Don't be afraid to embrace what makes you special.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?:

  • The Ice Hotel, they have special wedding package (but we decided not to sleep there, because I don't imagine my honeymoon in a sleeping bag with hat and scarf).
  • Station Duchesnay, on the other side of the street, were we had the party and were we slept instead, in a luxuous suite.
  • Winter coat, scarf and boots were bought at Le Chateau, a very inexpensive fashion boutique, at the beginning of winter.
  • Flowers were bought at Bardou they are the only ones that do waxed flowers to my knowledge.
  • Hot socks and underwear came from a sport shop.
  • Table centerpiece were hand made by my friend Chantal Vallières, she also makes pretty glass necklaces.
  • Leathers gloves and custom "manchon" were made at Laliberté.
  • Custom corset was made by Mekkration, the best corstier in the world (I believe).
  • The guys rented their tuxedo and fancy winter coat at Marquis de Brumell.
  • Tablecloths were rented at Decorum.
  • Cake by De Blanchet, and taste even better than it looked.

I continue to wear all the winter clothes I bought, so it was an investment!

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn:

To see the slide show, head to offbeatbride.com.

 
 
This business has paid a fee to be listed on offbeatbride.com because they feel their wedding products and services are in-line with offbeat brides' philosophies and needs … and I agree. Here's more info about how advertising works on offbeatbride.com.

Brilliant Earth — Oh how I love thee. Ariel's already written (hell, practically gushed) about their conflict-free diamonds so allow me to gush about their ethically-sourced sapphires

Sapphire rings are one of my favorite alternatives to traditional diamond rings and Brilliant Earth has some ridiculously stunning engagement rings and wedding bands. I mean, check out that beauty in the picture. I'm about to conveniently "lose" my current ring just to have excuse to get my hands on that baby. That way Ariel can stop teasing me with her very own Brilliant Earth sapphire ring. That bitch. [Editor's note: Oh Meeeegan! My bezel-set sapphire is twinkling at me right now! La la la! Kissies, Ariel]

Feast your face on their custom design gallery to see more pictures of my favorite ring and other equally incredible designs.

OR, even better, head over to their site and create your own custom ring using sapphires or their ethically-sourced diamonds and have yourself a merry little engagement. Or do it just for fun, like I do.

 
 

I'm a bridesmaid in a close friend's wedding this summer — R is transgender, and she's struggling to find a dress on a budget. R is a gorgeous woman who gets her curves from her post-transition hormones and her shoulders from her pre-transition adolescence. Dresses that look gorgeous on a model online look totally different when she tries them on, and she doesn't have the budget to have something completely hand-made. Since you did such a great write-up about finding suits for FTM transgender dudes and butch women, I was hoping you might be able to help us out a bit. -Beth

Thanks for writing, Beth — and congratulations to R on her engagement! I've got opinions a plenty, but I figured I'd bring in some experts to help me answer your question. I shared your email with four of my favorite independent wedding dress designers, and here was their advice…

This Snow Leopard dress by <a href=

This Snow Leopard dress by Whirlingturban features a halter top and wide, A-line skirt

"Look for something body–skimming (not body-hugging) with an A-line shape for the skirt to make R's waist look smaller." Katherine from Whirlingturban Boutique said. Katherine went on to advise, "For inspiration, look at traditional 1940s wedding and evening gowns, then look for something new like that but with clean lines and FAR less detail and less modest coverage. Don’t use shoulder pads because R is lucky enough to have au naturelle shoulder pads."

Dianna DiNoble from Starkers! agreed on the A-line idea, suggesting "A full or A-line skirt — with a corset of course!" She went on to clarify that she'd suggest R aim for "either tea-length or full skirt to accentuate a small waist and hide narrower hips."

This is <a href=

This is Wai-Ching's Athena dress

When I emailed Chrissy Wai-Ching to ask her thoughts on R's dilemma, she recommended "hourglass shapes with flowing skirts, with a halter and sweetheart neckline. Those would help to soften R's broad shoulders and create curves." She added a little plug saying, "My Athena Dress or Samsara Dress with a sweetheart neckline could be really flattering."

Joi from Dress Forms Design Studio got meta on the issue, explaining "On any person you want to accentuate the best feature. If R is worried about wide shoulders, then she wants a line in the garment that makes them look narrow. Draw a silhouette of the person, then imagine drawing an arrow pointing inward. That is the line or illusion you want for wide shoulders."

Getting more specific, Joi explained: "Halter necklines create a line angling in, portrait collars are also nice (not an off the shoulder, but one that covers the shoulder and goes up the shoulder and overlaps in the front), and a surplice neckline (a bodice that overlaps) would be wonderful. These are necklines I use on clients with broad shoulders — such as swimmers, for example."

So, in summary:

  • Skirt: A-line full skirt, likely tea-length or full length
  • Bodice: corset or halter top

Many thanks to Katherine, Dianna, Chrissy, and Joi for taking the time to share their wisdom!

 
 

The Offbeat Bride: Alba Margarita, graduate student and profesional procrastinator (and OBT member)

Her Offbeat Partner: Jorge, PC repair technician

Location & date of wedding: Casa Diego, Cupey Alto, Puerto Rico — December 21st, 2008

What made our wedding offbeat: Being a rebel and all, I decided that I did not want a big cheesy fuss for my wedding, nor did I want a musty traditional one. I did several things that are almost unheard of here in traditional Puerto Rico…

Check out little bros kicks!

Check out little bro's kicks!

I wore a red and black vintage-inspired cocktail dress. My little brother gave me away. Our "padrinos" were my (gay) brother in law and his partner of fifteen years. We had our puppy as our ring bearer. The "flower girl" was a sexy twenty-five-year-old. The wedding march music was from a video game. There was no (gasp!) bouquet/garter toss. The ceremony was 100% secular (the officiant was pagan though). The wedding party members chose their own style of clothing. There was also no first dance (my fiance pleaded me to not make him dance in public!). There were fake mustaches handed out. My ipod was the DJ (ensuring only music my husband and I liked was played).

And all of this was masterminded mostly by myself in less than four months and with a budget of less than $5000. (My mother paid for all of it, yet she gave me free creative reins! Thanks mom!.)

DSC_6395

Our biggest challenge: I seriously expected more roadblocks than what I actually had, seeing that I had very offbeat ideas in a very traditional-minded society.

The biggest challenge of all was the cake: first, I wanted a chocolate cake, and second my husband wanted NO FONDANT. The person who offered to make our cake (for free!) backed out less than two weeks before the wedding (after not answering our calls for awhile). My sister finally offered to buy a cake from a relative's bakery from back in my home town (I described what I wanted to him over the phone, and it turned out great!).

Another challenge (which was also kind of sad too) was having a cosmetologist friend offer her services as a hairdresser and makeup artist to me as a wedding gift and then having her completely stop her communication before the wedding. Luckily, a friend's girlfriend did my hair, which turned out great, and I did my own makeup (which turned out awesome).

The last big challenge came from my fiance himself. He's divorced, and he already had a big traditional wedding , so he was freaking out about the preparations. Luckily, he had to eat his words!

Propics 015

My favorite moment: Besides watching the people that I thought wouldn't be able to make it actually arriving at the site on time, my favorite moment was when, one hour into our laid back reception, my new husband turned to me and said: "You know, I'm actually having a lot of fun!" (He's not exactly in love with social events, so this was big, coming from him!).

My second favorite moment was gathering a bunch of the guests at the end of the reception to sing a loud and chaotic rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody" (I was Mr. Mercury, of course).

Hearing from other people that the wedding was so totally us, and so much fun was pretty awesome too.

My advice for other offbeat brides: Really, just be true to yourselves and what you want to accomplish Remember that it's just one day, and it goes by so fast. Why worry about the little details?

Also (cliché alert!) always try to do what you REALLY want (within a realistic mind-set). You will be surprised as to how little resistance you might encounter.

Oh, and the Internet is your best friend. Seriously. I planned most of this thing online!

And buy Offbeat Bride, the book! No, really, go buy it, it's great therapy!.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?:

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn:

To see the slide show, head to offbeatbride.com.

 
 

It's been a long time since I featured wedding puppetry (remember this wedding with the male flower girl? Still one of my all-time favorites!), so I couldn't resist this video, which Lauren & Michael produced and played at their Chicago wedding. This is one part of a three-part video Lauren & Michael made, featuring puppet versions of themselves (plus puppies and goats) and a song that will be stuck in your head all day written by Michael:

To see the video, head to offbeatbride.com.

To view the full video (which features puppet Lauren & Michael acting out their first date) click here!

 
 

The offbeat bride: Katie Director of Operations (for a travel company)

Her offbeat partner: Anthony Graduate Student OSU

Location & date of wedding: In June: Bethlehem Lutheran Church in Mesa, AZ. In October: Getaway Cabins in Hocking Hills State Park, Hocking Hills, Ohio — 6/20/09 & 10/24/09

What made our wedding offbeat: We actually had two weddings. My mother became ill and could not travel to our planned wedding in Ohio in October. A decision was made to have two ceremonies — one in June and one in October.

We pulled together a "white wedding" in six weeks with a dress from Goodwill, shoes from online, my mother's veil from thirty-five years ago when she married my father and flowers from a grocery store. Cici's Pizza "catered" and my mom got us a cake from the WalMart bakery for our reception. We had the ceremony in Mesa, AZ at Bethlehem Lutheran Church (my parent's church) and then took off for Ohio.

Since two weddings were involved, we had a limited budget so we got even more creative for the October wedding. The "flowers" were bunches of fake leaves bought from Dollar Tree that my photographer and best friend made for me. For party favors, I bought baskets from Dollar Tree and tons of Halloween candy. Rather than do favors, I had centerpieces and favors in one! I bought pumpkins from our church and decorated the grounds while helping out seven different charities.

I did splurge and buy a different dress for the October wedding as a surprise. It was great because everyone expected the same white dress to be worn from June. When I came walking out in an ORANGE dress (my favorite color), jaws dropped and Husband was most surprised of all. It was so perfect for our setting!

Our biggest challenge: Our biggest challenge was distance. We had known each other for ten years, but fell in love while we were living on the West Coast. Husband was in Oregon, I was in California. We got engaged after Tony had moved to Ohio to start his PhD program. So the entire time we dated and were engaged we lived in different states, on opposite sides of the country. Planning was difficult because we couldn't go anywhere together and make joint decisions.

When two weddings were decided on, I took over the June shin-dig and he planned the October wedding. I worked closely with my mother to get everything set up in AZ while Husband talked to tent people and family members for catering in the woods. All he had to do was wear a suit and show up in June, and all I had to do was my hair, makeup and dress in October!

We talked a lot on Skype, tested our trust in each other and our friends and family and everything worked out wonderful!

My favorite moment: My favorite moments of our weddings was the end of the day in October. The sky had cleared and the stars were out as we snuck away from the party for our private honeymoon cabin. All we could hear while walking in the woods was people laughing, talking and having a great time. People were still enjoying the campfire and home brewed beer made specifically for our event. You know you throw a good party when it continues after you leave it!

My offbeat advice: Don't be afraid to do what YOU want, regardless of how crazy it seems to others. I wanted to get married in an Orange dress. I had bought a white one and wasn't sold on it. When I stumbled upon this beauty, I wavered because my intended had made a comment about me NOT wearing orange. My best friend Fenna (who was also my pro photographer for BOTH weddings) was like "You cannot get married in anything other than this! Quit trying to kid yourself!" So we planned an elaborate surprise and it worked out great.

If you spend all your time trying to make other people happy on your wedding day you will be the most unhappy of all. My father's exact words to me: "There is NO POSSIBLE WAY to please everyone so don't try". So what if Grandma insists you have purple flowers? If she isn't paying for them, she has no say. Buy her a purple corsage and be done with it. I had family upset because my invite specifically said to wear jeans, sweatshirts, boots or shoes that could get muddy for our October wedding. We were outdoors in a state park! Some people chose to dress up anyway and regretted it! I was quite comfy in my cowboy boots, jeans and hoodie after the ceremony. :)

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?:

  • My dress was bought in boutique type shop in a Mall in Beaverton Oregon. The tag says "Bellezza by Savoy." Doing more research, it appears this is a manufacturer only on the West Coast. The store had many many dresses in many colors but only one of each design.
  • My jewelry was custom made by my Flickr Friend Clara. More of her work here.
  • Tuxes were from Men's Warehouse and Tux.
  • Almost all decorations, Leaf bouquets, boutonnieres, and centerpiece/favors were from Dollar Tree.
  • Photography by Fenna Blue of Short.Girl Photography.
  • We utilized Getaway cabins #20-25 for our event, should anyone want the specific location. Three of the six cabins are pet friendly and all have hot tubs. :)

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn:

To see the slide show, head to offbeatbride.com.
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

 
 
This business has paid a fee to be listed on offbeatbride.com because they feel their wedding products and services are in-line with offbeat brides' philosophies and needs … and I agree. Here's more info about how advertising works on offbeatbride.com.

OBB Dec

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Order by 12/22 for delivery by Christmas, and place your order today for free Priority Mail shipping.

Earrings crafted from beach stones and necklaces in the shape of a tree will rock your world. (Oof… yeah I went there.) That gorgeous tree necklace in particular is super eco-friendly — made by a carbon-neutral company in Australia. And all the pieces would be perfect for an outdoor wedding, or for bringing a bit of the outdoors to an indoor wedding.

Bridal Party Discount: TLC has a 10% discount for bridal party orders of four or more of a particular item.

Seriously, what are you waiting for? Head over to TLC and get all your Christmas AND bridal party shopping over with in one place!

 
 
18 December 2009 @ 01:00 pm
This post features offbeat affiliates, meaning that if you buy something featured, you'll help support Offbeat Bride's mission of bringing wedding awesomeness to brides everywhere.

It was really only a matter of time before my taste in loud wedding shoes led us here, ladies … and now here we are, stomping down the glittering, campy road of sparkly-ass wedding shoes.

Really, your wedding day can feel like doing a form of drag — the fancy dress, the up-do, everyone staring at you. So why not take it a half-step over the top? Even if you're wearing a more conservative white dress, a twinkle under your hem can add a wink of camp to even a formal church wedding.

Sequins! Rhinestones! Glitter! Because if it's too loud … you're too old. ;)

That in mind, I give to you my favorite glittering wedding shoes…

(Tip: if you're reading this post on Facebook, you may need to view the post on offbeatbride.com to view the images! And if you're reading the post on Offbeat Bride and you STILL aren't seeing images — try disabling your ad block software.)


 
 
18 December 2009 @ 01:00 pm

The offbeat bride: ElisaBethe, Loan Officer

Her offbeat partner: Chris, Pipe-fitter

Location & date of wedding: Neighborhood park in Atascocita, TX — 05/23/09

What made our wedding offbeat: First we were planning a big wedding. Then I got pregnant and we decided to elope. At the last minute, we decided, instead, to hold a tiny park wedding, and only invite our immediate family; about twenty people.

I was seven months pregnant, and we decided to wear bright blue in honor of our little boy on the way. My dress was $6.00 at Charlotte Russe! I made a feather and faux flower bouquet the day of with decorations from Hobby Lobby, and wore feathers in my hair picked up that day as well. When I got my make-up done, I requested "a mardi gras mask for my eyes."

belly 1What I didn't realize was that I had HELLPS syndrome, and a baby on the way that night! At our small restaurant reception I started feeling bad and so I cut it short to go to the hospital, along with the nineteen family members and my new husband. I was taken by ambulance to a bigger hospital, and spent my wedding night there. The next morning I had an emergency c-section, still with the feathers in my hair, and gave birth to a 3lb. 4 oz. baby boy! It was quite the wedding weekend!

Our biggest challenge: Biggest challenge was, of course, suffering liver failure due to HELLPS at the reception!

But wedding wise, it was trying to keep the whole thing a secret so that we could only invite immediate family.

Another challenge was dress shopping. It is not easy for a seven month pregnant girl to find a dress long enough to cover pregnancy cankles and still be pretty and casual. I think I tried on close to fifty dresses before I found my keeper.

My favorite moment: I loved walking down the aisle as we were pelted with birdseed and my new husband stuck out his tongue to catch it. It was so silly and so him!

I also loved when I went into labor and delivery and was asked if I was married. I got to reply, "Yes, for two hours now."

My offbeat advice: Don't worry about what people will think of your offbeat look. I was told I was beautiful with elephant feet, a blue beach dress, mardi gras eye make-up, and a feather bouquet! It was MY DAY and I did look beautiful.me &amp; Cooper

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?:

  • Dress – Charlotte Russe
  • Hair feathers – Claires
  • Brides Ring – Sears
  • Groom's Ring – Tungsten band from amazon.com
  • Shoes – Old Navy pink flip flops
  • Reception – Carinos, I know they had never had a wedding before, and they were super nice, and just what we needed.

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn:

To see the slide show, head to offbeatbride.com.

 
 

Is it too presumptive to tell my bridesmaids that I don't want a bachelorette party OR a bridal shower? All of my bridesmaids live out of my state and I've been with my fiance for 7 years, and just don't feel the need to collect any more lingerie or eat a penis cake. Is it alright for me to just propose to my bridesmaids exactly what I want — us to get together on the morning of the wedding for coffee and to have a morning of beauty: hair, makeup, and manicures. -Courtney

Me and my bridesmaids

Shanah and her badass bridesmaids at her 2008 gothabilly wedding.

Courtney, in a word: YES. In fact, your bridesmaids will likely be hugely relieved to have you tell them A) you don't want them to organize additional parties or showers and that B) instead you'd like to pamper them the morning of the wedding. I'd wager that there are many bridesmaids out there who would heave a huge sigh of relief at the news that you don't want a penis cake.

This is something I cover in my book — really, when it comes to wedding parties, it's just about making sure your priorities are matched and your expectations are clear. You can send a quick message saying, "I don't know what you guys have experienced with bridesmaiding, but I want things to be fun and easy — no shower necessary! I've got no need for a penis cake bachelorette party! Really, all I want is for the group of us to gather the morning of the wedding for some pampering and loving ladytime."

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Thanks to Short.Girl for submitting this gorgeous shot of the Stasko-Sgambellone wedding to the Offbeat Bride photo pool.

Phrase it carefully — note the language recognizing that your wedding may differ from their previous experiences. This is your way around sounding presumptuous — you avoid assuming they're planning showers or parties but recognize that some brides do expect these things. Also, note the phrasing around "no shower necessary" and "no need" for a party. Don't slam either tradition (for all you know, one of your bridesmaids may looooove bridal showers) but simply to make it clear that you want to keep things simple and easy for them — but that you DO have one thing you want: the morning pampering together. Make it about them, not you — this isn't about your demands. It's about respecting and honoring the ladies you love.

Really, if you're careful about how you say it, the sky's the limit for wedding party activities. I talked to one couple who went spelunking instead of having a wedding shower. There are others who've had bachelorette parties revolve around shopping flea markets for vintage supplies for the wedding. The key is just making sure your wedding party is on the same page as you — which is as easy as a respectful conversation early-on in the engagement to let them know you love them, you're so excited to have them involved, and really: no penis cake necessary.

For more about offbeat wedding parties and bridesmaids, check out these links:

 
 

The offbeat bride: Stevie- ESL teacher (and OBT member)

Her offbeat partner: Jeb- Banker

Location & date of wedding: Beautiful Deerfields in Horse Shoe, NC — November 7, 2009

What made our wedding offbeat: Our wedding was offbeat for a few reasons. We insisted that we get married outdoors in the fall, knowing we would be battling the elements that come along with fall North Carolina mountain weather. We also insisted that our friend, who is not a U.S. citizen, be our officiant. And our wedding party consisted of friends from three different countries, conservatives, extreme liberal hippies, homosexuals, heterosexuals, models, students… all around AMAZINGLY different people.

Alverson - Stewart Wedding 114We wrote our own ceremony and vows and had all local vendors. My dress was made by a local tailor, our food was from an amazing local burrito shop, the beer was from the local brewery who sponsors Jeb's soccer team, the band was the BEST local band around, and our cupcakes were from a local baker. We had a long engagement so we had lots of time to decide what we wanted, and it came out so perfect I still to this day am waiting for something bad to happen.

Our biggest challenge: Believe it or not, finding our vendors was pretty tricky. I was really surprised at the amount of vendors who apparently didn't care if they gained our business or not. We went through a string of possibilities that fell through, but thank goodness the ones we ended up with fell into place. They were amazing!

Also, this year was really rough. The death of a good friend, many friends and family lost jobs, family illness, and went through countless career and money stresses. I am so happy, however, that things worked out the way they did, and this event sealed off the year. I honestly feel like the planets and stars aligned for all of us so we could be together and celebrate such an important occasion!

My favorite moment: Holy Moly! There were so many! A few that stick out:

  • Driving back from getting my hair and makeup done and crouching in the seat, but being able to see SO many dear friends and family and my handsome husband already there waiting!
  • Weeping when my mom and dad saw me for the first time, and then me weeping at the sight of my gorgeous flowers.
  • Being pretty nervous about exposing my heart in front of so many people, but as soon as Jeb took my hands, I was as cool as a cucumber.
  • Getting so completely intoxicated (but in a good way!) and dancing with my friends so hard that my legs were KILLING me the next morning.
  • My new husband trying to help me pull the 100 or so bobby pins out of my hair at the end of the night, help me get my dress and my spanx off (how romantic!) and then me completely passing out! We had a cabin on the property that we were going to have our first "married night" in together, but all of our friends that were supposed to be camping outside ended up sleeping in there with us because of the cold. It was unexpected, but totally perfect!
  • The next morning, my amazing friends cleaned up the whole pavilion so that we wouldn't have to… and then I found my bra tied to some Christmas lights.

Alverson - Stewart Wedding 035My offbeat advice: Be optimistic! That was the best advice I received from one of my best friends, who helped me plan the whole wedding almost stress free. I repeated things such as "It WILL not rain/sleet/snow/freeze," and, "our more traditional guests will NOT walk out in the middle of our ceremony due to shock." And guess what? It didn't rain/sleet/snow/freeze, and NO ONE walked out! In fact, we heard all kinds of wonderful things about how "us" the wedding was, and how authentic and beautiful the whole weekend turned out to be. I just decided not to stress about it, and everything fell into place. It also helped that I was doing a LOT of yoga during the last nine months!

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?:Our vendors were amazing in every single way!

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn:

To see the slide show, head to offbeatbride.com.